17. on Joy and Why You Can’t Have It

i scatter happiness all around,

and you can’t have it.

i forgive you.

but i won’t be near you.

my new chapstick is awaiting and i will fill the world with butterflies, flies made of butter, and flybutters and everything inbetween.

my enthusiasm, my love, my heart, if you disregard it then you can walk out. to me you’re the equivalent of a piercing ringing phone and to you i am the same, so why bother with it?

aboard the pirate ship i felt green, though you know my heart is yellow. if you’d seen it you’d have looked away, unkindly. don’t you dare break, i can see through that mauve!

i twist and turn and twirl and pivot and wheel and roll and spin and come out through the neon azure cylinder and there i am,

not yours.

p.s.

tatyana is sorry she can’t be here, she’s too busy

 

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